Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Boobs are out for the taking
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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