R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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