Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
