I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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