grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
