just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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