some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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