god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
