I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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