Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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