There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
two words...techno handjob
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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