Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
