Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
