She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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