I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
