but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
