Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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