Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
