whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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