i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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