Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
