dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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