Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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