You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
