he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
