She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
