I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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