So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
