did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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