I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
