he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't turn off my feet"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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