If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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