My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize