Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
