sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
