OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
