it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
