had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
