We need to rekindle our bromance
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
