mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize