did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
