oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
