I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
