Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
