i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
