maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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