Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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