Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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