i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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