Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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