dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
