Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
