So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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