I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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