i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
